How You Know Your Husband Loves You

Hubby had a minor medical procedure yesterday (good report) and while he was coming out of the hypnotic anesthesia, he was cracking the nurses up.  I thought I'd get this on video in case he wanted to watch it later, and he thinks it is hilarious.  He gave me permission to post this.

He's a keeper!

Date Night

This weekend has been so much fun!  We:

Had a wonderful date night to Outback Steakhouse.  We had so much fun chatting, holding hands, sharing food and drinks, visiting with the waiter.  We're still talking about it all day today.  So sad to see those folks who sit staring at their food or watching other people, with little to no visiting with their spouse.  Just ran out of things to say after all these years.  Settling.  A dirty word in our home.

Took this photo using the new reverse photo feature on iPhone, where you see yourself before you snap.  Andy laughs at how much I fluff my hair, and try to keep my eyes from squinting shut.  Am I just old?  What is with all my photos having squinty eyes?  I refuse to tone down my smile just to have my eyes open.   :)  And I have one eye open here, so success!!

Now why this is so red I have no idea.  I was playing around with a new camera application choosing colors and different effects, but I was positive I cleared it all.  Hmmm....

And that shirt is a gorgeous deep eggplant color, so not sure why it looks royal blue.  Does it look royal blue to you?

And I mentioned my new "silent but commanding" supervisory style I'm using while moving?  (Or, errr, watching Andy move?)  Here is a photo - sitting in my chair at the new place, reclined, playing with my phone, being a loving, supporting and quiet wife, after chatting all the way there and then back.  Ha!

Ahh....it might not be an exciting life, but it is a great life.  With a great man.  And a great relationship.  And a closeness I always dreamed and prayed for and after a mere 23 years, it is here!  Thank you, thank you, thank you, cognitive behavior counseling.  Praise God!!

Girls, I'm living proof that if we put all our energy into focusing on what we can change, what we can improve and using every spare moment as an opportunity to show our man our much we respect, appreciate and love him?  Reap the rewards, just simply reap the rewards.  

All the other stress and nightmare issues in our life can just wait their turn.  We're busy loving each other like we only have today to do it. 

It's contagious - spread the love!

Have a glorious day!

Just being real, y'all

Ok, what a morning.  Thought I'd take a photo of my purty nails - I never get my nails polished, but the salon was running a sweet special  for both pedicure and manicures and I thought I'd take these man-hands and spruce them up, to make hubs smile.  And they sure do look nice!  Better than I could ever do......but anyhoo....

I managed to take the photo pretty easily but then, had to read the name of the polish.   Doesn't sound difficult?  Well.....my Dry Eyes problem is really bad today and I'm effectively blind.  So I thought I'd "be real" and show you how I function on days like this:

Ok, so here is the "real" deal.  Notice my lovely velour pants - in July - in Mississippi - at 1pm?  Yep, folks, this is how I roll.  Lovely nerve damage makes me FREEZING all day long, so I get up, throw on these velour pants (one of 8 pair, I think?  Sitting in a chair all day sure makes pants last a LONG time, I've got some from 2005 still!  lol), I've had the socks on all night long - never take those off unless I'm in the pool or out of the house - and then those lovely slippers.   These are the fancy maroon velour pants; I normally wear black or brown.   And I stay like this ALL day unless I have to go somewhere.....just have to stay cozy so I don't freeze!  If you were to feel my toes you'd be shocked at how ice cold they are, too.

So picture my crazy curly morning hair, nightgown, velour pants, socks, brown velour slippers AND my bent over 105 year old granny body for a few hours and you have one............ummm...........well, let's just say I'm not surprised hubs doesn't look at me directly for a few hours.  lol

Anyway....I could NOT read the name on the bottle.  Not one word, so I grabbed my handy dandy magnifying glass that I use ALL THE TIME (yes, I'm only 44 - it is humbling) and read the name.  "Ate Berries In the Canaries" by OPI nail polish.

As you can see, I'm not overdoing it on the "growing the nails out to be super feminine" or anything.  lol  But hey, hubs WAS smiling to see his favorite man-hands looking special.  I'd get a photo of my purty toes, but two things - one, I'd have to lean down and remove my socks and two, I'd then have to reconnect the camera and download the photo.......maybe next time!

In other news, we got another photo from my sister of our dear youngest son - playin' nice with the extended relatives on my BIL's side.  Will this child be coming home to us or the "old" Holt?  lol

See the rare smile and the seemingly real interest in the game the child is holding?  No, this isn't a joke or a spoof photo.  I really and truly got this sent to my real time!!  Thanks Kelley- gotta save these rare photos for the later years!  Kelley swears he's been like this since he got to Texas and WE left.  Must be the Texas air?  lol

And our move is continuing.  Wait - did I use the right pronoun?  I guess I did, it is OUR move.  But WE'RE not doing it, HE is doing it.  Wanna give credit where credit is due.   Wait, is that fair?  Does taking the move-in photos count for much?  lol   But hey, Sweety (the Pekingese) and I ride along whenever I'm having a good pain day.   And my dear hubby (who is also my Sweety, but I digress....) with all his brute strength got one home theater chair over at the new house, so I can sit and play on my iPhone and be "good".  Hubs seems to prefer the "silent but commanding" supervisory style I've mastered.   Key word - Silent!   I'm like the little kid in the above photo - just give me a game or something to play with, and I'm content.

Don't ya just love un-medicated ADHD?  lol 

I'm working on a post to show photos of the new place and hope to get that up soon.  Stay tuned!

Hope you are having a glorious day!!  (I'm warm and cozy and hope you are too!)

Happy Happy Day

When was the last time you looked at your spouse and just couldn't believe how lucky you are?  Today was another one of those days.  I tell you what, but something is going on here.  I just want to pinch myself most days.  How DID I get so lucky?

Today after an appointment, I was walking out the door when I looked up to see who was holding it - my husband!  He had totally surprised me having left work a tad bit early to greet me. What a surprise!  Holt was with me and just rolled his eyes.  Just what he wanted - kissing and hugging parents.  In PUBLIC!  Gasp! 

Just a moment ago, I was reading a new favorite blog and ran across this new series starting next week with Courtney at Women Living Well.  

Completing Him Challenge - Be the woman your man needs. June 7 - August 9, 2010.

This fits perfectly with my goals of late - truly striving to make my husband happier than he's ever been.  Or doing my best trying!

I got to thinking the other day, how was I doing in the area of being an encouraging wife?  Years ago, I remember a friend sharing that her husband told her he dreaded coming home each day.  

I took a mental inventory and imagined what it was like for my husband:  what state was the house in?  Was I frazzled and busy or happy to see him?  Did I regularly stop what I was doing to greet him with a kiss and hug?  If I were gone all day, how would I want to be greeted?

With so much to do in our daily lives, do we take time to make the arrival of our spouse something special each day?  Isn't it sad if the pets are happier to see our spouses than we are? 

And what about supporting him in his ideas/dreams/goals?  Could we do a better job?

I vowed to greet my husband with an encouraging word and retire at night with encouraging/complimentary words and many times in between.  At first I worried it would seem like "too much" or contrived, but let me tell you, his reaction was so striking.  His chest swelled, he walked a little taller, he smiled broader when he would see me......and why I ever thought it would be tough I have no idea!

I also watched my reactions when he shared ideas or thoughts and a doozy happened just this last weekend.  As I talked with him through the subject he brought up, I tread lightly, just praying that I was coming across in a positive way.  He sent me a text from work  Tuesday morning to share with me how much my chatting with him had not only meant to him, but helped clear his mind and put him at ease with the situation that had him stumped.  I was tickled to get that.  I guess this encouraging business can go two ways!!  

Anyhoo,  I decided to ask hubby how I was doing and to request he be as honest as possible.  (Ha!  What a slippery slope for most men, huh!  Do we really want a truthful answer?  lol)   I asked him to rate me on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being best - How was I doing in the "encouraging wife" department?  He looked at me incredulously with a sincere smile and gave me a '10'!     I was NOT expecting that answer!  Considering the turmoil we've had in our general life otherwise,  I really thought I was just doing "ok".  Rather than simply being informative, his answer really encouraged me.  And we had the biggest smiles the rest of the day.  This just made me even more motivated than before! 

Do you know what your husband would rate you in your abilities as an Encouraging Wife?  Would you be willing to ask?  Here's to doing all we can to make our husbands lives amazing, thanking them for all their hard work and dedication.  I cannot wait for this new series to start next week - I look forward to the blessings it will bring!

Have a glorious day!

Update on Boys

Ryan left this morning for State Golf (Collegiate Junior Level).  His team qualified for state (I had originally thought he had qualified individually only, but I was wrong on that.)  They will have 2 practice rounds today and tomorrow, and then the tournament is Monday and Tuesday.

Holt has been considering trying to get his old job back and had sent a text to a former assistant manager asking about it.  She instructed him to come in and interview with the new manager.  This kept Holt at bay while he worked up his nerve.  2 nights ago, however, the assistant manager called and BEGGED him to come help her close for the night.  Someone had called in sick and she had no one else.  He went in and voila' - is now rehired.  lol  He will end up working 4-5 days straight this week alone, even though next week's schedule is not up yet.  How is that for getting a job the easy way?  I told him to negotiate a raise since he was such a lifesaver, but he didn't seem interested.  lol

Hubs and I will likely go for more walks since the weather has been so nice lately.  The other night, we walked up to a nearby restaurant and had dinner.  I had a salad that I shared with hubs and we ordered a thin crust pizza. Silly me forgot I am avoiding garlic (think I'm allergic - last time I ate it I got red flushed all over and felt very ill for the rest of the night) and of course we ordered the alternative "no sauce" pizza with garlic, tomatoes, artichokes and Canadian bacon.  Ugh!  Have you ever ordered pizza so thin you almost can't tell it is pizza?  That's the kid this place has.  After he was done with the pizza, we boxed up the rest and finished our walk home.  It was SO nice!  We love spending time together, catching up on our day...........Do you spend time with your spouse?  When was the last time you went for a walk and shared your day?

Have a glorious day! 

Bad bad morning

Just had to share how sweet my husband was this morning.  I take what is called "long-acting" medication for pain that must be taken every 8 hours to build up your blood plasma levels to be effective.  Any one pill - you feel nothing.   As it slowly releases and builds up in your system, you get an overall pain relief.  (With traditional pain meds, you take one and start feeling relief in 30 minutes or so.  Not with long-acting medication.)

When I woke up this morning at  6:30am, fire was flying through my body.  As I rolled over, the overall body pain I felt made me want to die.  I struggled to sit up, trying to figure out what had happened.  I then realized I had forgotten my bedtime meds and this meant the last time I took any medication was 2PM the day before.  16.5 hours prior.  

Andy was already getting ready for work and when he saw me, he knew immediately that this was going to be very bad for me for a while.   It hadn't fully hit me yet what had happened and I was trying to physically get back in bed.  He helped me back in to my "coffin" sleeping position.   This is how I sleep all night, every night, and he swears I will look just like this one day in a coffin.  I am on my back, arms over my chest, legs straight with 2 pillows up under my knees.  And I don't move, all night long.   Many  nights, he swears he has checked to make sure I am breathing.  Kinda creepy for him.   lol

He realized as he tucked me in that I had started holding my breath, my way of holding in emotion.   He sweetly told me to breathe, in and out, in and out, as he laid next to me with his arms around me.  As I took the first breath, the tears hit fast and furious.  I was in a level of pain that I don't have words to describe.....

 Image

I started heaving with the crying and he needed to get me calmed down.  He started whispering about me flying up in the sky, floating comfortably, and seeing a house on fire below (representing the fire in my body, and taking it away from me personally).   Visualization almost always helps me.  Very shortly, I was asleep.

I haven't had the best day physically (as expected) but I can't get over how sweet and caring he was with me this morning.  Without his gentle support, I would have been much more panicked.  Means the world to me that he cares so much.  

It made me think - do we all do what we can to bring comfort to a spouse when needed, or are we too busy?  Too wrapped up in what we are doing or what we need?

Sometimes it is a true burden to be dealing with a health crisis, particularly one like mine that isn't going anywhere and we all just have to accept it.  But it still matters, even to "I'm fine" little Miss "Pretend" girls like me.  Sometimes, when things really aren't fine, it means so much to have someone show they care in a special way.

I love you, honey!

Have a glorious day!

23rd Anniversary!

We met in July, 1986.  I was out with my best friend Holly and she met her husband that night as well.  

We married in March, not quite 8 months later.  It's been 23 years now and seems like just yesterday some days.

 Silk flowers were required due to hubby's massive allergies but they were pretty! 

We've lived in 5 states and 15 residences/moves.  We might not have made this last move, but my health dictated the need to live near neurosurgeons.   Are we settled where we live now?  We hope not, but just might be, as hubs loves his job. Always planned to get back to Texas, though, and just haven't managed it yet.   Who knows what the future holds, but we do know we'll be together, whatever life brings, and that is an amazing feeling!  I pray everyone finds that someone in their life that will be there through thick and thin, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health.   I think we've tested each one of those - certainly no smooth sailing through the years.  But at the end of the day, when you look at your spouse and feel blessed, then what more is there in life?  There is nothing better.

We not only made a covenant before God 23 years ago, but hubby surprised me with the renewing of our vows at year 10.  That stinker!  I didn't see that one coming - and we had a full wedding, reception and wonderful 2nd honeymoon to Hearst Castle in California.   I was literally shocked!  The full story is found HERE.  

I was told we were going to a very important business dinner and we were running very late.  By the time we pulled up to the church, I was a mess, worried about how late we were.   (We had to "stall" so my family had time to get dressed and get to the church while hubs and some friends ran all kinds of insane errands, driving me absolutely insane.  lol)   The parking lot was deserted but he ran in to "talk to someone".  At a deserted church. OKAY....but I'm still not catching on at this point.  Then he comes out and asks me to come inside for a minute.  This photo is me walking in the side door, SHOCKED to see a sanctuary full of loved ones!  (I still don't know where everyone parked!)

And I've always thought this photo was cute of the boys. They then went to school talking about how their parents just got married.  There were some questions over that one!  lol

And here we are today:

Still getting used to my hair being parted on the "other" side.  Ha!  and BTW, I've had many different hair styles and hair colors through the years  - hubs actually loves change.  The above pictures I was in my "red" phase.  lol  Never knows who he's going to bed with at night with the changes I make all the time!  He did not enjoy my hair chopped super short, but other than that, he's game for anything I want to do. 

Looking forward to many more wonderful years!

New Photo of Us

Since so many photos from last weekend turned out blurry, we took more tonight.  I had gotten my hair done today, and we had Holt snap these for us.  Andy looking handsome as ever - guys have it so easy!

And here was the one from Saturday, "pre" flat iron days:

Do I look younger in the first photo?  I think so.  Great!  New hairstyle!  lol

Remembering Our Babies - National Day of Miscarriage and Infant Loss

Today is the National Day of Miscarriage and Infant Loss. Have you or someone you know lost a baby(ies)? We've lost 4 and it was one of the harder periods of our life together.



Our Story:

Ryan was conceived and born with relatively little problems. He was huge at birth and that wasn't fun, but in general, no problems.

Holt was conceived after 8 months of trying and we almost immediately had a threatened miscarriage. I started bleeding and the doctor said if I was going to lose the baby or not, there was nothing we could do but wait. Thankfully, he held on and was born 9 months later.

2 years later, we tried for another baby and conceived quickly. Something was different this time, though, as I was not sick. The other two, I had morning sickness for almost the entire 9 months. Not this time. At 10 weeks, we learned the baby did not make it, and in fact, it was a blighted ovum.

We conceived twice more, losing those pregnancies early as well, one being twins. We did have genetic testing on one of the babies and found out that our other SON had no chromosomal defects in any way. My body had difficulties maintaining the pregnancies. I would have had at least 3 sons!

A few years later, we sought infertility treatments to see if we could have one more child - thankfully, insurance paid for it entirely. We did not conceive, but in major testing, found out that both Hubs and I have infertility issues. My body has/had elevated natural killer cells and was attacking the babies as if they were cancer and Hubs issues was irreversible.

We actually had a peace, though, finally an answer. And we know that we will see those 4 babies again some day in Heaven. That brings a great peace. We created a page to honor our babies and bring peace to others who are grieving the loss of their babies as well. Please visit or send the link to someone you know is suffering.

Dedicated to Our Babies In Heaven

I was really struggling with the grief, as having lost 4 babies in such a short time was really overwhelming. And we didn't end our family on the birth of a live baby......and that was tough. I finally sought some Christian counseling and was told something that transformed my life at the time, and I will always be indebted to Jo Ann for sharing this with me. She said:

We will never get over it, but we will get through it.

So many women are trying so hard to "get over it" already. But really, we will never lose the love we had for that baby in our heart. That child was a part of us the minute we found out he/she was conceived. God blessed us with that child, even for just a short time. But we can get "through it" and we must, as unresolved grief can easily turn to depression.

Here is one of my favorite poems, found on my website above:

To my baby
The one I can't hold
The one I won't see
Is what I'm told

I felt your little spirit
Living in me
Though such a short time
It was precious you see

My life seemed so perfect
My dream would come true
My own little bundle
Whether pink or blue

Everyone loved you
Just waiting to see
Would you look like your daddy
Or exactly like me

These are the things
We will never know
Because God in heaven
Said you needed to go

He must have his reasons
I can't yet understand
Did he come down to get you
Did he hold out his hand

Someday you can tell me
About His sweet embrace
As he took you from me
To that wonderful place

Until that day comes
Don't be afraid
Heaven is safe
For us it was made

I won't say goodbye
I can't cuz you see
You'll always be
A part of me

I love you my baby
My sweet little one
I'll see you again
When my time here is done

Love, Mommy

Jennifer Wasik

You might have some sad friends today - tell them you are thinking about their baby(ies). Give them a hug, because I can almost guarantee you that no one in their life ever mentions their babies.

Take care,

Marriage - good or bad?

Marriages are on my mind these days, like a burden I guess. With all the news about "celebrity" marriage issues.........it can make one wonder - what is up with marriages today?? Are there any happily married folks left in the world? Or does everyone just give up and move on? "Grass is greener" type of mentality.

Our marriage is a testimony to staying together through all kinds of trials and tribulations and I can easily say that we love each other more now today THAN ever before in our 22 years. It seems like each year, the love just intensifies. Only God knew what He had in mind when he let these 2 got together. We met and married in less than 8 months! This photo was taken in 1987. I thought it was a photo from dating but I see a ring on his finger. lol Isn't it amazing we still look like this? lmbo


And I know some of you young marrieds (at whatever age) can't imagine what it might be like after 20+ years, when the kids are almost grown (in our case). But it's awesome. Keeping your sights on God and striving to be your husband's 'help meet' is the greatest gift you can give him.

I saw this quote today and it stopped me in my tracks. Powerful.

"However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]." Ephesians 5:33, Amplified Bible

I've never read the Amplified Bible and hadn't seen it written this way. Read that passage slowly, soaking in every word.

Are you your husband's help meet?

Cheri

Marriage - is your marriage a blessing?

One on one time is so important in marriage. In today's busy lives, more and more couples lose sight of the importance of making your spouse feel special. Kids, work......sometimes it is overwhelming.

Andy and I made a pact long ago to make our marriage a priority, to do all we could to role model for our boys, what a loving, close marriage looks like. Someday they will be men, leading their own families and we hope they do that with the integrity and honor that their father has led our family. Spending time alone with Andy goes a long way to keeping us close.

On our 10th anniversary, Andy surprised me with the renewing of our wedding vows, complete with a second honeymoon to Hearst Castle in California. That was so special to me, and we have tried to continue to have surprises and do special things for one another. Here is a website I made years ago with a few photos of our "2nd" wedding:

The Surprise Renewal of Our Vows

Interestingly, Andy and I both grew up with fathers whose careers forced them to travel week in and week out. Thankfully, Andy's job has only the occasional travel, and anytime can, I accompany him. With the boys 20 and 16, we now have the freedom to take a few days here and there. We truly are one of the closest couples we know. So many of our friends actually look forward to their spouses going on trips - getting a break. Sometimes, that is nice, but in general, it might be a sign that something is amiss.

Almost every year, we find a marriage retreat of some sort to attend. Such a boost, like a booster shot, to our relationship. I highly recommend couples find one to go to at least every couple years or so. Keep that spark alive!!

A few months ago, I ran across a ministry that emails a "Generous Tip of the Day" and it has been a real blessing to me. This one is for wives:

A Generous Wife

Here's my special guy for the last 22 years!


Who is yours? And what do you do to keep things special?

Have a great day!

Cheri