House Building - Secret Doors

What a great surprise I got this week!  Early on as we were deciding what to add to the home, I wanted gorgeous iron window inserts that had a strong degree of privacy, versus the standard 2/3 window option door that is standard.  I like to be able to "pretend I'm not home" and if the person at the door is staring straight at you, well.....that wasn't going to work.

But then the cost of these door inserts made me go "ACK!"

When it came down to my beautiful granite and how badly I wanted it, I gave up my iron doors....and just thought I'd do something different later.

Well, behind my back EngineerHubby had my boss order these doors anyway and surprise me.  They are stunning!   Neighbors have already stopped and commented on them....

In this photo, the doors will be painted Sherwin Williams Black Fox, which is a dark charcoal gray, along with the shutters.  Dirt is going to be hauled in to level this house (it is much higher than normal due to having to switch to a "block and fill" foundation"....I just love the doors!!

On the painting front, the main color we picked for most walls different in a significant way when using the builder's paint....bases were different, etc.  It was a little dark.  It is being changed now to Sherwin Williams Perfect Greige and I think it will be a perfect choice.  Might look gray...might look taupe depending on the lighting...just what I wanted.

Sherwin Williams Peppercorn has gone in the formal dining room and master bedroom and it is so serene...so striking....

Inspiration Photo - Pulp Design Studios

Source: houzz.com via Cheri on Pinterest

One of the site supervisors/head honchos at our company loved my choice so much he took photos and sent it to his wife...I think we will get many nights of restful sleep in that room!

House Building - Exterior

We have been so busy...my goodness.....I'm falling back on taking photos and need to get back on the stick.  EngineerHubby surprised me with the iron door inserts I "gave up" to get the granite I wanted and ordered them anyway behind my back.  I need to get a better photo of them because they are STUNNING!! So many compliments already.

Have no idea why this photo looks such a different color...guess it is the lighting...one minute the home looks more gray, the next ....tan.

The door inserts are called Wyngate by Western Reflections.  Best of all?  They are private...folks cannot see in!  I got the inserts on 2 doors...nothing above and no side lights...but gorgeous nonetheless.

In other new, sheet rock is done, painting went up but the wrong shade so that is being corrected...and my special ordered mantle is in....GORGEOUS!    I heard cabinets are coming in this week...tiling up soon...trim is going in as we speak......

And best of all, I met the gal I sold a house to over the phone...they've come to town and love everything...what a relief!  I have sold a house over the phone via photos one other time and while my attention detail and zillion photos make it happen, it is still worrisome until the client arrives and LOVES it.  Relief!

House Building - Sheet Rock

Starting to look like a house......

Love And Aspergers/Autism {Article}

I belong to several Asperger online support groups/boards and find it an invaluable resource of information....

Source

The following article was recommended to me and while lengthy, is an excellent representation/snapshot of the intricacies of Aspergers/High Functioning Autism and relationships.  So far 2 family members have read it and found parts they identify with.....this is not a one -size-fits-all situation.  Aspergers and Autism are SPECTRUM disorders....many there are VAST differences in all traits among any 2 folks diagnosed.

I personally describe folks with Asperger's Syndrome (Einstein, Bill Gates...) as having 2 sets of gifts.....and if their social anxieties and issues could get quickly resolved/under control, their second set of gifts could excel....as Einstein and Bill Gates did....they have amazing attention to detail, their "literalness" and relative rarity to get distracted by emotions positions them to be excellent researchers and scientists....

But what they do not know, they will not "pick up on".  Things must be told straight up and spelled out.  They do not easily "mirror" with others, do not easily read facial clues, innuendo and sarcasm flies over their heads in most cases.    In fact, I have learned to be SO literal and blunt that I find I have to temper myself in other settings...it is TOO blunt and TOO strong for most people.  I refer to this as having "soft edges".

For instance, in the article they mention hand-flapping as a typical autistic trait.  However, the girl in the article obsessively pops her knuckles...rather than hand-flapping.

HELLO -

Everyone in my immediate life obsessively knuckle-pops.

All in all, it is encouraging and with how literal Aspies are, any easy-to-read (and encouraging) articles always serve to help them learn, help encourage them.  The overwhelming anxiety sometimes has them believing they will never make it, never fit in.

Enjoy!

Navigating Love and Autism - NY Times

Inspirational Words, Autism/Aspergers and Alexithymia

"You have all you need within you to become the best version of yourself. Anything that inspires you is an outward reflection of the potential within you. Cultivate in your own life, in your own way, the qualities and greatness you see in others and pretty soon you will be living a life that is your personal version of greatness. Your work is to apply yourself everyday and don't look back." - Jackson Kiddard, author & polymath

Asperger's Syndrome (High Functioning Autism) got professionally diagnosed a year and a half ago.  The rigidity of school kept them under the radar despite my going to doctor after doctor after doctor begging for help.  Everyone in their life has had "HUH?" moments with them.  The extreme literalness, the clueless behavior, the utter lack of critical thinking skills, almost ZERO forward thinking/forecasting....not understanding others, having to control every play date, not ever understanding how their playmate might be feeling, coming out to get something to eat and NOT offering anything to their friend......utterly unaware of how their friend might be feeling, he/she might be hungry too....everything is just about THEM without massive training.  And once there is training, there is simply training.  Not true real understanding.  Just a new "database" that says:

Remember to offer friend food or drink if I am eating.


Remember to consider if friend would like to do something else.


It's been a tough year and a half.

So reading the quote above, I get so inspired UNTIL

I stop and realize....

The alexithymia (and mind blindness) my men suffer PREVENTS them from sensing or realizing any inner potential....they just know what they believe, what they have learned (that they choose to believe and process) and what is told to them very succinctly.  (Add in sarcasm or innuendo and you can forget comprehension.)

They cannot "cultivate in their own life the qualities and greatness they see in others" because they do not SEE any of that in others.  At all.  Ever.

They just see what they see....."Cheri went to work.  Cheri is home."

They do NOT see (unless massive training), "Cheri is sad.  Cheri is mad. Cheri is excelling."

Cheri (or whomever) has to TELL them straight up "I am mad.....at this....for this reason....and this is what I need you to do".  (Hug me, avoid me, help me solve something...)

Otherwise, Cheri has men in various episodes - meltdowns, shutdowns, lockdowns.  

Many do not feel any inner drive from inside....they stare at you blankly if you try to describe this....

They go to work IF they believe it is the right thing to do, after they decide if they want to or not.  If they call in sick and you say, "This is a terrible time, your boss is so slammed with work, how could you pretend to be sick and stay home" you get blank stares.  Who cares what their boss is going through? Consider others before making decisions?  Why?  (They are not trying to be rude...they honestly do not know WHY.)

Emotions?  Feelings?  Even noticing their own overdone rage during a meltdown?

Isn't happening.

A very unemotional inner life....no dreaming, no intuition, "dreams or goals" is a dirty word because they cannot grasp that easily (Aspergers is a spectrum with a wide-variety of symptoms.....)

But now I know WHY....why my jaw hurts so much from clenching, why my life as a parent has been filled with so much pain with all the choices that made NO sense until diagnosis......

If you think you may be living with someone devoid of normal emotions/goals/dreams...but cannot quite put your finger on it, take this online Alexithymia test to see what I am talking about and see if it applies.  Also good to just learn what Alexihtymia is like.

Online Alexithymia Test

I am going to slowly start posting on this subject....what I've learned has the potential to help so many others.

I haven't even touched on the intense massive anxiety that almost brings their entire life to a halt.

Just remember - Asperger's can go undiagnosed for a LIFETIME.  Most "Aspies" develop an outer mask.....of behaviors to fit in.....but they don't even realize they are doing this.  Many folks are getting diagnosed in their 40's, 50's and 60's.    Anyone in your life who NEVER reciprocates emotion?  Look in to Asperger's Syndrome.

Custom Lighting Question

If I needed THESE custom lights made for me, where would I start?

I fell in love with this photo and have to have these lights for my kitchen, or something very similar.  Even the color is PERFECT.

modern dining room design by new york interior designer PURVI PADIA DESIGN

Our new house is going to have similar colors....walnut brown, grays, cream and this tobacco/caramel color......

Any ideas??  We live in the MidSouth, but have access to Dallas, Little Rock, and surrounding areas.

Hungry For A Change?

Are you tired?  Sluggish?  Moody? Cranky?  Achy?  Sleep all night but never feel rested? Skin sallow?  Wrinkles?  Acne?  Hair lifeless?


Guess what....this isn't a post about the latest "MLM - multi level marketing product you must have....don't get me started on those...."
I haven't had time to talk much about it on here, but I have been back on

Green Smoothies 

for months.  I got to looking back at photos when I looked SO much younger, much less wrinkles, healthy vibrant skin and I remembered - that was when I was on Green Smoothies!

So I got back on them and it has been amazing, just like last time.  I basically drink a large ( and I mean LARGE) green smoothie in the morning and evening, and eat what I want for lunch.  Literally.

A coworker has now started Green Smoothies and she is doing great too.  I believe this trailer and this movie is going to help explain WHY are bodies are fat, tired, sick......you can do something about it, but it starts with getting OFF anything with ASPARTAME  (Equal, Nutrasweet....) ASAP (with I knew how to put a red circle with an X through it for DANGER...)....I got off Aspartame a few months after first ingesting it when I realized the cause of my short term memory loss and massive headaches that had a sudden onset started around the time I started putting Equal in my tea....and folks, this was in the 90's!!!  (I've talked about our food diary experiences....and it trains you to pay attention to what you just ate/drank to connect to what is going on in your life negatively.)

Finally, we must all wean off sugar...I'm not there yet but have seriously decreased my consumption.  Strangely enough, drinking pure nutrition (greens, vegetables and some fruit - NOT the next multi level marketing "product" for health.....)...actually curbs many cravings....it is awesome how it works.

If I can do it, you can do it!

House Building - Framing