Thursday, October 15, 2009

Remembering Our Babies - National Day of Miscarriage and Infant Loss

Today is the National Day of Miscarriage and Infant Loss. Have you or someone you know lost a baby(ies)? We've lost 4 and it was one of the harder periods of our life together.

Our Story:

Ryan was conceived and born with relatively little problems. He was huge at birth and that wasn't fun, but in general, no problems.

Holt was conceived after 8 months of trying and we almost immediately had a threatened miscarriage. I started bleeding and the doctor said if I was going to lose the baby or not, there was nothing we could do but wait. Thankfully, he held on and was born 9 months later.

2 years later, we tried for another baby and conceived quickly. Something was different this time, though, as I was not sick. The other two, I had morning sickness for almost the entire 9 months. Not this time. At 10 weeks, we learned the baby did not make it, and in fact, it was a blighted ovum.

We conceived twice more, losing those pregnancies early as well, one being twins. We did have genetic testing on one of the babies and found out that our other SON had no chromosomal defects in any way. My body had difficulties maintaining the pregnancies. I would have had at least 3 sons!

A few years later, we sought infertility treatments to see if we could have one more child - thankfully, insurance paid for it entirely. We did not conceive, but in major testing, found out that both Hubs and I have infertility issues. My body has/had elevated natural killer cells and was attacking the babies as if they were cancer and Hubs issues was irreversible.

We actually had a peace, though, finally an answer. And we know that we will see those 4 babies again some day in Heaven. That brings a great peace. We created a page to honor our babies and bring peace to others who are grieving the loss of their babies as well. Please visit or send the link to someone you know is suffering.

Dedicated to Our Babies In Heaven

I was really struggling with the grief, as having lost 4 babies in such a short time was really overwhelming. And we didn't end our family on the birth of a live baby......and that was tough. I finally sought some Christian counseling and was told something that transformed my life at the time, and I will always be indebted to Jo Ann for sharing this with me. She said:

We will never get over it, but we will get through it.

So many women are trying so hard to "get over it" already. But really, we will never lose the love we had for that baby in our heart. That child was a part of us the minute we found out he/she was conceived. God blessed us with that child, even for just a short time. But we can get "through it" and we must, as unresolved grief can easily turn to depression.

Here is one of my favorite poems, found on my website above:

To my baby
The one I can't hold
The one I won't see
Is what I'm told

I felt your little spirit
Living in me
Though such a short time
It was precious you see

My life seemed so perfect
My dream would come true
My own little bundle
Whether pink or blue

Everyone loved you
Just waiting to see
Would you look like your daddy
Or exactly like me

These are the things
We will never know
Because God in heaven
Said you needed to go

He must have his reasons
I can't yet understand
Did he come down to get you
Did he hold out his hand

Someday you can tell me
About His sweet embrace
As he took you from me
To that wonderful place

Until that day comes
Don't be afraid
Heaven is safe
For us it was made

I won't say goodbye
I can't cuz you see
You'll always be
A part of me

I love you my baby
My sweet little one
I'll see you again
When my time here is done

Love, Mommy

Jennifer Wasik

You might have some sad friends today - tell them you are thinking about their baby(ies). Give them a hug, because I can almost guarantee you that no one in their life ever mentions their babies.

Take care,


1 comment:

  1. This breaks my heart. I had fertility problems too. Come to find out i had a split uterus. All the fertility stuff we had to pay for out of our pocket and many ultrasounds, ect. And they were not the ones who discovered my split uterus. My surgeon did. I am forever grateful to him. We may have one son but i am so thankful for him. He just fills my heart... mishelle


Thanks so much for your lovely comments!