Inspirational Words

Hi to all..it's been a while.  Lots going on......and I've been meaning to "get back at it"...so much to share in all areas...but for now, I saw this quote and loved it:

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."

- Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Is this true for you or someone you know?

Integrity

Wow, really love the latest blog post at
DanielleLaPorte.com......subject is Integrity.

And I LOVE this phrase:

The power of your word is in direct proportion to your self awareness.

I strongly believe that the ONLY thing we have that someone cannot take away, cannot effect...is our WORD.  If our word isn't "gold"...then what DO we have?

This is powerful.....

How do you feel about integrity... your "word"?  

Powerful

My dear pain friends......I ran across this quote today and feel it applies to me and my recovery from the deepest depths of the pain.......(along with reading the book "Opening the Cage of Pain" by Rue Anne Haas).

"Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn't you - all of the expectations, all of the beliefs - and becoming who you are."

- Rachel Naomi Remen, MD, is Clinical Professor of Family and Community Medicine at the UCSF School of Medicine.

If this intrigues you but doesn't make sense at this moment, check out the above mentioned book.  ( (HUGS ) ) 

Peaceful Observer

"You are not your mind, your emotions or the circumstances of your life. You are the peaceful observer of your mind and emotions that allows life circumstances to pass through and around you for your evolution to finally come to a place of total acceptance of all that is. Only the peaceful observer remains after all else fades away. Only the peaceful observer in total acceptance of what is can take action towards effectively changing anything. You are only this peaceful observer - everything else is as fleeting as the blink of an eye, choose happiness and don't buy into it." 

- Jackson Kiddard, author & polymath. 

This has never been more true or more needed in my life than right now.  

Inspiration

One of the strangest concepts I think I ever became aware of is this:  What I see in others (whether good or bad) is what I reflect in myself or I would not be noticing it...  I had to really think on that for a good while......

"The awe, inspiration and talent you recognize in others are but a reflection of the same thing in you.  I highly suggest you do not seek the approval or recognition of those you admire but instead cultivate in yourself that which you see in them.   There is a dormant creative genius within you - let them out!"

- Jackson Kiddard, author & polymath.

Our Thoughts and Beliefs Affect Our Health

Ran across an article today that is so important to read and fully take in.  What we think affects our health.  What we believe, becomes real.  I've always known this and fully believe this (and am evidence of changing my thoughts and my pain lifting last June.....now working full-time after 6 years fully reclined with severe nerve damage down both legs....Story HERE.)

source

But this author (Donna Gates) has advice:

Start noticing new things!!  As we do this, we let go of what we think we know.

Get into a state of wonder!

A doctors visit or that lab result is just a snapshot at that moment.

Do you ever notice your stress or pain is higher when you dwell on the problems in your life? Have you ignored problems in your life so long your body is now trying to get your attention with pain or issues?  Mine sure did.

Read this article:

What Are You Thinking?  Your Health Depends On It!

You can do this!!  You really can.....

Inspirational Words, Autism/Aspergers and Alexithymia

"You have all you need within you to become the best version of yourself. Anything that inspires you is an outward reflection of the potential within you. Cultivate in your own life, in your own way, the qualities and greatness you see in others and pretty soon you will be living a life that is your personal version of greatness. Your work is to apply yourself everyday and don't look back." - Jackson Kiddard, author & polymath

Asperger's Syndrome (High Functioning Autism) got professionally diagnosed a year and a half ago.  The rigidity of school kept them under the radar despite my going to doctor after doctor after doctor begging for help.  Everyone in their life has had "HUH?" moments with them.  The extreme literalness, the clueless behavior, the utter lack of critical thinking skills, almost ZERO forward thinking/forecasting....not understanding others, having to control every play date, not ever understanding how their playmate might be feeling, coming out to get something to eat and NOT offering anything to their friend......utterly unaware of how their friend might be feeling, he/she might be hungry too....everything is just about THEM without massive training.  And once there is training, there is simply training.  Not true real understanding.  Just a new "database" that says:

Remember to offer friend food or drink if I am eating.


Remember to consider if friend would like to do something else.


It's been a tough year and a half.

So reading the quote above, I get so inspired UNTIL

I stop and realize....

The alexithymia (and mind blindness) my men suffer PREVENTS them from sensing or realizing any inner potential....they just know what they believe, what they have learned (that they choose to believe and process) and what is told to them very succinctly.  (Add in sarcasm or innuendo and you can forget comprehension.)

They cannot "cultivate in their own life the qualities and greatness they see in others" because they do not SEE any of that in others.  At all.  Ever.

They just see what they see....."Cheri went to work.  Cheri is home."

They do NOT see (unless massive training), "Cheri is sad.  Cheri is mad. Cheri is excelling."

Cheri (or whomever) has to TELL them straight up "I am mad.....at this....for this reason....and this is what I need you to do".  (Hug me, avoid me, help me solve something...)

Otherwise, Cheri has men in various episodes - meltdowns, shutdowns, lockdowns.  

Many do not feel any inner drive from inside....they stare at you blankly if you try to describe this....

They go to work IF they believe it is the right thing to do, after they decide if they want to or not.  If they call in sick and you say, "This is a terrible time, your boss is so slammed with work, how could you pretend to be sick and stay home" you get blank stares.  Who cares what their boss is going through? Consider others before making decisions?  Why?  (They are not trying to be rude...they honestly do not know WHY.)

Emotions?  Feelings?  Even noticing their own overdone rage during a meltdown?

Isn't happening.

A very unemotional inner life....no dreaming, no intuition, "dreams or goals" is a dirty word because they cannot grasp that easily (Aspergers is a spectrum with a wide-variety of symptoms.....)

But now I know WHY....why my jaw hurts so much from clenching, why my life as a parent has been filled with so much pain with all the choices that made NO sense until diagnosis......

If you think you may be living with someone devoid of normal emotions/goals/dreams...but cannot quite put your finger on it, take this online Alexithymia test to see what I am talking about and see if it applies.  Also good to just learn what Alexihtymia is like.

Online Alexithymia Test

I am going to slowly start posting on this subject....what I've learned has the potential to help so many others.

I haven't even touched on the intense massive anxiety that almost brings their entire life to a halt.

Just remember - Asperger's can go undiagnosed for a LIFETIME.  Most "Aspies" develop an outer mask.....of behaviors to fit in.....but they don't even realize they are doing this.  Many folks are getting diagnosed in their 40's, 50's and 60's.    Anyone in your life who NEVER reciprocates emotion?  Look in to Asperger's Syndrome.

Is Your Word Gold?

There are many things I am passionate about...it would probably take less time to list what I'm NOT passionate about, but at the top of the list is.....

MY WORD.

Our Word.

Have you ever really stopped to think about it?  If our word is GOLD, if we mean what we say and say what we mean.....can anyone ever take that from us?

This is POWER.

This is RESPECT.

This is INTEGRITY.

I explained to my boss last week why I work so hard and so late if need be.  If I have TOLD a customer I will email them, I EMAIL THEM.  PERIOD.  And I don't go home until I do.  It isn't up for discussion.

Now, I carefully watch what I say....I carefully watch what I promise BECAUSE...my word means so much to me.

Because my word is gold, I respect MYSELF and have the respect of OTHERS.  Working in sales, doing what you say you are going to do STANDS OUT.  It makes an impression.  A great one.

And this video says it all:






How about you?  In what ways, if any, do you feel strongly about this?  Does someone keeping their word impact you?  Have you ever really stopped and thought about it?

Inspiration

"Life doesn't give you dreams and aspirations for you to turn away and say 'not for people like me.' Your dreams are your real Self yearning to be followed with a courageous heart and unbending intent. Your own wisdom is more powerful than anything you see around you. The price for living your dream is facing your deepest fear; ask yourself 'What am I afraid of most'? Facing your answer is the price of greatness."  - Jackson Kiddard, author and polymath.  "Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that's the one that is going to require the most from you."  - Caroline Myss, best-selling author, speaker and medical intuitive.  "Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream."  - Lao Tzu, Father of Taoism.

Inspiration Thursday

"The key is to listen to your heart and let it carry you in the direction of your dreams.  I've learned that it's possible to set your sights high and achieve your dreams and do it with integrity, character and love.  And each day that you are moving toward your dreams without compromising who you are, you are winning."


 - Michael Dell, Founder of Dell Computers

It saddens me how many people believe we must fight to get ahead...we must strategize....outsmart the next guy....or that "most of the world" is out to get you so be on your toes.....it simply isn't true.

It is a paradigm shift when you accept that there is abundance for everyone.....

And it is:

WHO we are when no one is looking,

Who we are at home when our "act" or "public mask" is off....

How we treat others...

How we treat our loved ones...


.......that matters in the end.

Because if we live with integrity and character...the rest will come to us easily and in good time.

Let's set our focus on what truly matters  -  love.....loving behavior....believing in others, believing in ourselves....never giving up........seeing the GOOD when maybe everyone else cannot.....

When you look at your spouse, do you smile with delight?

When you look at your child, do you smile with delight?

When you go to work, do you smile with delight?

How awesome would that be?

Inspiration Thursday

"You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are always going to be placed in front of you.  If you don't have that kind of feeling for what it is you are doing, you'll stop at the first giant hurdle."

 - George Lucas. American Film Director and Producer, famous for Star Trek and Indiana Jones Trilogies.


"Really get in touch with what you believe.  Your belief in something is the magic spark needed to make it real.  You can believe things won't work out and they won't.  You can believe that abundance is your birthright and you will be proved correct.  Identify the beliefs that you have that are holding you back and day by day replace them with beliefs that push you forward.  Over time, having faith and taking action on your beliefs will bring around the life you have believed in.  The key is to have the faith that your belief is growing and to clear out all the weeds that prevent it's growth.  Keep the faith, your Heart never lies."

   - Jackson Kiddard


Here's to a great day!

Inspirational Words

Profound!

"We are not responding to this instant, if we are judging any aspect of it.  The ego looks for what to criticize.  This always involves comparing with the past.  But love looks upon the world peacefully and accepts.  The ego searches for short comings and weaknesses.  Love watches for any sign of strength.  It sees how far each one has come, and not how far he has to go.  How simple it is to love, and exhausting it is always to find fault, for every time we see a fault we think something needs to be done about it.  Love knows that nothing is ever needed but more love.  It is what we all do with our hearts that affects others most deeply.  It is not the movements of our body or the words within our minds that transmit love.  We love from heart to heart."


 - Maharishi Mahesh Yogi,

How True Is This?

Source

"Actually, we have no problems, we have opportunities for which we should give thanks.  An error we refuse to correct has many lives.  It takes courage to face one's own shortcomings and wisdom to do something about them."

 - Edgar Cayce

Merry Christmas!

Source

Saw this today and had to share:


"So perhaps today we can create a new habit that will come with us into the New Year - let us BE the presence of LOVE in our lives and in the world.  Let's take responsibility for our own happiness, no longer blame others and instead BRING what we feel is missing from life.  Let us stop trying to get or take Love and instead set our aim on how we can serve and express our gifts to the world, so that we make the world a better place for someone else - and in doing so we will also be making the world a better place for ourselves."


The Daily Love by Mastin Kipp....

If you love this website as much as I do, you can sign up for a daily email at the top of the page in red....

How true is this?  Some of us are in a great place right now, others of us are hurting deeply.  How we get through it all is focusing outside ourselves...on giving....on blessing others.....and it will be returned to use 100-fold.

The blessings in my life this year are overflowing.............  Some blessings 25 years in the making.......

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!!

Words to Live By

Source: myspace.com via Cheri on Pinterest

"The past is finished.  Learn from it and let it go.  The future is not even here yet.  Plan for it, but do not waste your time worrying about it.  Worrying is worthless.  When you stop ruminating about what has already happened, when you stop worrying about what might never happen, then you will be in the present moment.  Then you will begin to experience joy in life."

 -  Brian Weiss, is an American psychiatrist and best-selling author.

I read an amazing blog post today and had to share it.  Mastin Kipp, of The Daily Love, has a daily inspirational email I receive and I highly recommend it.  This is what he wrote today:

How To Take a Giant Step Towards Loving Yourself and Others Even More!

"So what if that were all emotions were? A wake up call? They aren’t bad. They aren’t something to repress. They aren’t negative. They are just calling us forth and asking us to wake up.

Resentment is asking us to stop blaming other people and take responsibility for our lives.

Anger is asking us to feel the sadness below it – and then let it go.

Fear is showing us where we can have more faith and perhaps create a massive action plan.

The sensation of “lack” is showing us that the amount of abundance we have in our lives is related to how much value we have added in other people’s lives.

Perhaps anxiety is showing us that we are stepping outside our comfort zone."

Have a blessed day!

Inspirational Words

Source

"Don't ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive ."

 - Howard Thurman, was an influential American author, philosopher, theologian, educator and civil rights leader.




"Cherish your visions.  Cherish your ideals.  Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built."

 - James Allen, was a philosophical writer of British nationality known for his inspirational books and poetry.

Affirmation Thursday - Are you a "Good Girl"?

"I banish the past and now live in the wonderful now, where happy surprises come to me each day."

Have you seen this video?  Today, Emily P. Freeman's book, "Grace for the Good Girl - Letting Go of the Try-hard Life" is released.  (She is "Chatting at the Sky" in the blog world.)

I have not read this book nor been paid to write about it.

But I am a good girl.





As I was forced to recline and be still (story HERE), I had no choice but to face WHO I WAS without the activity I used to mask my insecurity and fear of failure.

Frankly,  I had been 

a human DOING 

rather than 

a human BEING.

How many of us are truly OK with ourselves 

when we are stripped of everything besides stillness?

I related to a little bit of each woman on this video.....from my past.  The "pre-injury" Cheri.

What people SAW was an over-achieving perfectionist.  That behavior masked a girl trying to outrun her fear of failure.

I am good.

I am enough.

I am loved.  Period!  No qualifications!

I thank God for the opportunity to learn this lesson, and others.

I'll be getting this book.

Read the first chapter HERE.  You won't be the same after.

Are you a "Good Girl"?  If not, I'm sure you know one.  And if so, read that first chapter to being to understand her.  You will be glad you did.

Revisiting Re-framing

In January, I wrote a post on the concept of "Re-Framing" memories, thoughts, dreams, current issues.  I have been surprised that it is not a very common concept, or maybe just the term is uncommon?


It has been instrumental in much of my life.....while I watch others just lock down and remain in a set belief that brings them unhappiness and sometimes great emotional pain.  We free OURSELVES when we learn to do this....


When I saw this post today on Simple Marriage, I had to share.  Very well-written and full of great advice for relationships.

Simple Marriage - 

What Kind of Frame is Your Relationship In?

  Here's to decreasing conflict and increasing intimacy!  Enjoy!

How to Re-Frame

Huh?  Do what??  Re-frame.  Let me share something with you.

As women, we dwell.  I think it is in-born.  Dwell, dwell, dwell.  And not always positively.  

But guess what?

What we Focus on, EXPANDS.

Think about that for a minute.  It's true, isn't it?  

So we must CHOOSE what we focus on.  Well, that is easy to say, hard to do.  Especially on bad days, when everytyhing has gone wrong.  Or when we are moody, have had little sleep.  Why must WE change our thinking?

Because, we owe it to ourselves to do so.  Do you know who dwelling hurts?  US.  Not the person we are upset with.  No one else.  Just us.  Same with forgiveness - it is also for US, not the other person.  We must because we become LESS - less efficient, less happy, less functional - when we lock in on dwelling.  


Guess what? 

We do better when we KNOW better. 

How true is that?

So, how do we change what to focus on? Well, let me introduce you to the concept of 

Re-Framing

Imagine a puzzle in your life with missing pieces.  All of a sudden, some new puzzle pieces come flying towards you through the air.....and then SLAM, those puzzle pieces fall in to place.  Now, you have a different perspective.  Right?  You needed that info years ago, but at least it came now.  Or sometimes we have to create a new puzzle piece, to move on.  To be able to move forward.

Sometimes we stumble on new information.  Sometimes, we gain new perspective with maturity and wisdom.  By watching other people.  But as women, we have things that hurt us - we have emotional pains........and if something happened in our childhood that then gets triggered in adulthood.........look out.  We don't even see that coming.  We are such good actresses, aren't we?  

Looking back, I can take an old memory, replace it with new information OR a new choice.  I can choose to believe whatever was done was not on purpose, for example.   And by doing so the emotional pain lessens.  The emotional pain, the hurt - eventually fades away. 

 

How I handle my nerve pain is very similar to how we can handle our emotional pain.

I choose what I dwell on.

I let go of my old dreams to embrace my new possibilities.

Distraction is my greatest weapon.

Do you have something you are holding on to?  Can you think of a way to re-frame it to be at peace?