Birthday Weekend Recap

Thought I'd start with a photo of my girls, showing their new "do" after their beauty/spa appointments.

And great news!!  The burning pain in my back that I mentioned the other day HERE, appears to be almost gone.  Yay!!! I've been asked if it might be shingles and I actually have recovered recently from my 4th bout of shingles in 2 years (and that is always on my face in one nerve pattern), and this pain is WORSE than shingles pain.  Horrid.  But I am thankful it only stayed around a few days this time instead of a month!

Since Holt will be going to Texas for the summer, we thought we'd treat him to dinner.  Now this is the child who hesitates to be seen in public with his parents.  I mean, y'all, he IS almost an adult.  Being the empty garbage gut that he is, he was suggesting steak, seafood (lobster), or anything else that might break the bank.  lol   Andy wanted me to pick a restaurant for my birthday dinner, but I plan to do that in Dallas this coming week.  Woo Hoo!!    So donning my "sweet amazing wife/mom hat", I suggested  Bonefish Grill, one of Andy's favorite places that Holt had not been to.   He enjoyed calamari for the first time, but I do not think he is my child - I cannot eat anything "rubbery".  lol  He and hubs ordered the same entree - Snapper with lump crab and lemon butter sauce.   I ordered the Coconut Crusted Shrimp appetizer.  So while the guys snarfed down 2 ordered of the bread, calamari, and their snapper dinners, I enjoyed my 6 pieces of shrimp and ice water.   Not to worry, the minute I was done I headed out the door to do some shopping, "girl style" as we were in a super nice outdoor mall area.  There ended up being a glitch in the plans - the guys were supposed to find me when they left the restaurant and accompany me birthday shopping, but Holt decided HE needed clothes and wouldn't let Andy leave him.  Hmmmmph.  So I shopped alone.  Not feeling too special, especially after I was so gracious with the restaurant.......but I was a good girl and did not shop it up to get even.  lol  I did treat myself to a Ben and Jerry's scoop of ice cream, I think it was called Bonner and Buzz?  Yumm.  Malted milk, caramel, coffee flavor....  Again, alone.  lol  They finally caught up with me, heads down, but it was all good.  Ice cream is soothing like that!

So today was my birthday - turned 44, a double even number!!! I prefer even over odd -  I'm weird like that.   I woke up in tears from pain, but thankfully the meds kicked in pretty quick.  Not sure what that pain was about, as that is unusual.  I got up and did my usual morning ritual while I wait for my body to loosen up and want to get going.  Andy was cleaning out and packing up our older son's room as he moved out Friday.  Not a word about my birthday.  He asked me a little hurriedly how soon I would be ready to go swimming and I told him I was busy responding to everyone on F.acebook (a zillion birthday wishes, thank you everyone!) and he snapped, "You can do that this evening!"  Hellooo.......HINT???   I wrongly assumed that since last night was all about THEM, that maybe I'd wake up to some flowers or a card or even a hug?  Ya know what they say about assuming!

So 2 hours later in the pool, still no mention of my birthday and he was actually a little cranky with his mind elsewhere.  I was thinking maybe he would be surprising me with something and was trying to throw me off the trail?   Since subtle is not really an adjective anyone would use to describe my personality, I finally just flat out said, "So, you know it's my birthday today"?  His eyes bugged out of his head.  It was hilarious.   And about 4 hours later, he remembered to get my card out and it was a very sweet card - have to give him kudos for that.  There for a while I thought he'd be running me by a store to read some cards to save money.  LMBO

After that sputtering start, we had a great afternoon in the pool.  The water was so warm and that salt-water filtration is just heavenly. To make up for the sad start, he took me shopping (and just to be clear, shopping does not imply buying!  I love to browse!) AND he promised to not rush me as he often does.   (I rarely drive and therefore I mostly only get out on weekends due to my pain and mostly numb feet - feeling the gas and brake pedals is really important, ya know?)  Surprise - he was so patient AND helpful (getting things I couldn't reach, for example, since I can't bend, lift or twist).  I couldn't believe it!!  We just talked and shared and laughed and joked.  Had a great time actually.  That alone was a great birthday present!

We did share another "NOT my birthday dinner" at Steak and Shake, another of his faves and then we ran by CVS to check one thing.  Wellllll, they were having all kinds of sales, so I bet we were in there another 45 minutes?  lol  The "new" Cheri has no sense of time, is just SO relaxed, and simply enjoys her excursions into town with her sweet husband.  Not once did he get annoyed, or rush me, or "half-listen" like guys sometimes do.  lol 

The main purpose of our trip (outside of seeing family) is I have 2 high school reunions - one has been dubbed a "Super Reunion" for a span of years, and then the next night is an informal band reunion.  Yes, I was a band geek, playing bassoon in concert season (both band AND orchestra - Yep, I do NOT wonder why more of the "cool" guys wouldn't ask me out!) and then after one marching season in the flag corp, I took up Tenor Sax for marching season.  So fun!  If you weren't in band, you can't know just how close that band bond can be.  Love my band buddies!! 

And now it is 2am and I am STILL up. Time to get myself to bed.  I'm reading a new book called "Who Switched Off My Brain - Controlling Toxic Thoughts and Emotions" by Dr. Caroline Leaf.   

Her passion is studying the brain and on the inside jacket cover, it states:  "In this revised edition, Dr. Leaf clearly illustrates how the latest breakthroughs in neuroscience prove scripture - that you can renew your mind.  You can break the cycle of toxic thinking.  You can break unhealthy patterns.  Learn how "The Dirty Dozen", twelve areas of toxic thinking, can be swept away.  And uncover how healthy thoughts can actually start to help improve every area of your life - your relationships, your health and even your success."

THIS is the book I have been looking for, as I have watched how my pain worsens/skyrockets as stress increases in my life from other sources.  When I get control of my mind and stop worrying/dwelling/crying.....my pain improves.  But I wanted a book to help me step by step, as frankly living with never-ending pain is nothing something easily ignored, let alone anything else to add to it.  So far, I highly recommend the book!  Here is a video I watched online with her in an interview:

 

Who Switched off my brain?

Peter J Shepherd | MySpace Video

Anyhoo, I'll have an official review of this someday soon.  No paid request, just my personal interest!

After we get back from Dallas, hubs and I will have a new life - no kids!!  Wonder what that will be like?  (Just until August, but still, looking forward to it!)

Have a glorious day!

Adventures of Accidentally Taking Your Pet's Medication

No, you did not misread that title.  Yes, I took my pet's medication.

 I had to post this photo of Sweety at age 6 months.  A face only a mother could love?  lol   She is now 7 years old.

First, some important info:  I am REALLY bad about getting MY medication out and then forgetting to take it.   Hubs has been on me to take the pills the minute I have them in my hand - no more getting them out early, setting them near my computer.  Doesn't work, I will forget.  One of the meds I take MUST be taken on a regular schedule or I get messed up.

That said.........Today we noticed our Pekingese Sweety having an arthritis flare-up.  She went to a beauty appointment the other day, and almost always comes home a little worse for wear.  It takes a few days to get back to her old self.  She has degenerative disc issues in her back, and on the days we see her walking weird, she takes Previcox, which is to my understanding, doggie Advil/Nsaids.  

So, when I saw Sweety limping, I asked hubs to give her the pill.  He was busy.  I waited 15 minutes or so, asked him again, and could just TELL, you know how it is.......he'll mean well but forget, right?  So I got up and got the pill out of the wrapping and needed hubs to bring her to me. (I cannot bend, lift nor twist and getting the pill in a tiny Pekingese isn't on my list of "should do").  

Somehow, I got distracted and walked to my bathroom to get my water.  As I walked back in the kitchen, I popped that pill, the DOGGIE ADVIL, down my throat.  I freaked!  Andy read the box and it said something to the tune of, "Beware, not for human consumption."  Great, just great.  But was he shocked?  I can't say that he was.  Isn't that sad?  ROFL.

As I start chugging water to go force it back up through vomiting, I beg him to call Poison Control, just in case.  Right?  Just trying to be smart.   Well, I had NO luck on the vomiting plan (and bending over the toilet is also NOT on my list of "should do".)  Andy comes in with Poison Control on the phone and tells me they do not recommend I vomit this up.  Well, GOOD, 'cause it wasn't working!  After asking the weight of the dog (18 lbs) and me (never should ask a lady her weight!) and my age (Andy telling them if I lived, I would be 44 tomorrow, lol), it was determined that if I do NOT live until tomorrow, it won't be because I took Doggie Advil.  Things might have been different if Sweety and I were close to the same weight. 

Thank goodness!!!  And a few hours later, when Poison Control called to check on me, the funny girl asked me if I had started barking yet.  Ha Ha Ha!  And poor Sweety (the dog), I did not need to take any of her "30 pills for $40" medicine!

Sigh.  I did not notice any side effects and also didn't notice an improvement in my pain.  lol   

It just never ends with me, it truly doesn't.  So now, I'm pretty sure the next time I ask hubs to give Sweety her pill, I bet her hops right to that.  What do you think? 

Have a glorious day!

Central Pain Again - Am I Tough Enough?

If I have learned one thing recently, it is that I better start dealing with all the emotional stuff going on in my life right now so my body can take a break from falling apart!  As I finish healing from the appendectomy 3 weeks ago, my back decided to start burning again, just like before.  Once again, it is exactly from my bra strap to my hips and rather than being deep like my other nerve damage and burning, this is the skin level.  It honestly feels like the worst sunburn you could ever imagine and then multiply that by 10 or 100.  It is just simply BAD.

Because our youngest is on full restriction, I have been forced to do much more running around than I ever normally have to do.  That is wreaking havoc on my back, as touch is the number one trigger (going in and out of the van, etc.).  Also clothing touching my back, wind blowing on my back, basically anything that touches my back in any way.  

My normal safe place - the recliner - isn't so fun right now.  Mostly, laying on my stomach with my shirt tucked in my bra strap so my back is bare is the best place for now. 

I am praying this goes away again.  Last time, it took about a month.  For most folks who suffer Central Pain Syndrome, I don't think the pain goes away.  I am crossing fingers that mine does.  We had planned a trip to Dallas for next week, but at this moment, I could not make the trip.  Today, the pain was about 25% better during the day, but it is raging again tonight.  Dallas is 8+ hours away, and then I would have strange beds and strange chairs.  Not conducive to pain relief.  

I am once again thanking God for the Lidoderm patches that are saving my mind right now.  These are applied to the skin and can be left on for 12 hours at time. 

So during these times when everything is crashing around me and my mind is just overwhelmed, I turn to God and try to remember HE is in control.  It is hard to explain what it is like to have 24/7 burning pain even with the Spinal Cord Stimulator, it doesn't cut the pain entirely.  Most days it is just getting to be too much, I will be honest.  Not feeling so much like going to visit anyone right now. 

I have purposefully not written about the many stressors right now, not to put on "airs" but due to my belief that too much focus on negative things gives it power and makes it more real.  We can leave it at - major prayers would be much appreciated.  Hopefully things will improve dramatically within the next few weeks, but we can only wait and see.  Part of this is related to our sons and I can simply admit - I am covered up with grief.  Deep, penetrating grief.  Without faith, I don't know where I'd be right now.

Right now, the bright spot in my life is my husband and our relationship.  Focusing on us and the new challenge coming up is helping keep my mind off things I cannot change, cannot control, and must accept.

This poem/story really touched me when I first read it and talk about TEARS.  Oh my goodness, does it make me cry.  I don't have this CRPS/RSD, but the story touched me just the same.  Very similar feelings.   If you know anyone who suffers chronic pain, send this to them.  It will touch them, trust me:

Am I Tough Enough? by Traci Zuckerman

Living with chronic pain redirects your focus, tests all of your strengths, and emphasizes your weaknesses. I have reflex sympathetic dystrophy (RSD)/complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS) – it is a condition or illness that causes chronic pain that has tormented me for more than nine years.

There is a stigma that exists when you live with or have any disability, especially an invisible one like pain. You start to wonder if you have the strength to live with the never-ending flare ups and the changes that life with chronic pain brings. When you start to doubt yourself, you must reach down deep and use every bit of strength and determination you have to make it through the day.

Having to live with chronic pain is like being a prisoner within my own body. I do not have the same freedom of movement that I once did. Many of my abilities are limited or changed as a result of living with RSD/CRPS. I live each day not knowing what my body has in store for me. I never know if I will be merely stiff from swollen limbs or achy from the spasms of tight muscles or even tortured by the nerve pain that burns and sticks itself like electrical needles through my skin.

I have days when I'm shocked by pain that just appears out of nowhere. I have days when the pain slowly creeps up on me. Some days I become overwhelmed – anxious, depressed and worn out by the pain, but I always stay true to myself and try to go with the flow.

I have asked myself many times, "Am I tough enough to live like this?" I also wonder if others believe I'm tough enough. I wonder if I work hard enough at trying to deal with this. Am I trying my very best to respond in a productive way and keep myself motivated toward improving?

I get tired and worn out some days – living with chronic pain is much more demanding than a full time job. Sometimes when I open my eyes in the morning, the first thought I have is, "Maybe the RSD is gone." Rationally, I know RSD/CRPS won't disappear. I also know that the only way toward wellness is to stop looking back and keep moving forward. The memories of the things I have missed along the way are daunting so I focus in on what works today and what I can try to do tomorrow.

Living with chronic pain is like any 12 step or rehabilitation program – you must be diligent and determined to progress forward. That is why it is necessary for me to continue to have an open mind about different treatments or therapies and learn as much as I possibly can about RSD/CRPS. Continuing to explore my options has become a main focus for me – it helps me to feel like I'm in control and moving forward, rather than a prisoner to my pain and my body. I too have hope for and a dream of a life where I am not a prisoner to pain.

Over the years, I have spent a lot of time wondering if I'm tough enough to make it through this. I know now that I have made it – I have the qualities and abilities I need to stay focused as I work toward wellness. I'm determined. I'm hopeful. I'm open-minded. I keep trying. It's my choice. I can see freedom from pain and even feel it sometimes, even as I experience the challenges along the way. I know now that I am tough enough and I know you are too.
 

OK, enough whining.  Thanks for reading.  I'll perk up before the next post, I promise.  Just keeping it real.  Who knows, maybe getting dehydrated from crying will short out the nerves!  lol

Hope you are having a pain-free day!!

Update on Curly Hair Progress

I wrote several months ago about growing my hair out and planning to "go curly", having just discovered I have curly hair.  lol  I KNOW, that seems ridiculous, doesn't it!  To be 43 and find out a few years ago - Hey, I have curly hair!  I just thought I had "messy" hair, never knew with the right product and styling technique, I could wear it curly.

So, I tried it out a few months ago and did NOT like it - too short!  My hair kinks up quite a bit, so I decided to go on a "grow out" mission.  This was in October, 2009:

Now today, we had been swimming all afternoon and decided to go run errands, I jumped in the shower and very quickly put product in my hair and used the diffuser on it a bit.  I had no rhythme or reason and didn't even remember what to do, honestly.  But I have to say I am impressed - considering the circumstances, I am thrilled with the progression of my curls.  Here is a photo we just took, after our errands and after sitting in a chair flattening it a bit:

 With the proper styling products and techniques, the "crown" won't be flat in general, but look how cork screw curly my hair is underneath?  I won't be "going curly" for probably another year at this grow rate, lol, but I look forward to it.

It was so funny watching Andy tonight - he has the weirdest "affect" - he said it was freaking him out how different I looked, like I was spunky or gonna be feisty or something.  He LOVES the curly look,and frankly loves any change I do to my hair (short of cutting it off short OR going red, neither of which he would enjoy).  lol

I alternate between completely flat (with a flat iron), mildly curled, heavily curled or now this naturally curly style. 


I don't think I posted this, but this photo was taken after my last hair cut/color last month.  Totally flat but with a new cut - hubs says it reminds him of the girl on Castle.  lol

Looking at this picture, you can really see how "much" my hair kinks up when allowed to go naturally curly, huh!

Do you change up your hair or hair style, or do you look mostly the same? 

Have a glorious day!

Show Us Your Life - Random Acts of Kindness

Kelly at Kelly's Korner Blog is doing her "Show Us Your Life - Random Acts of Kindness" this week.  Go there to read many ideas.

One of my favorite random acts of kindness involves the wait staff at restaurants.  My husband used to be a server and has related many tales of not so nice diners versus folks who were a pleasure to serve.  I started several years ago making sure to get the name of our waiter/ress when we go out to eat.  Either myself or my husband will engage them in brief conversation, asking how their day is going, what is their favorite item on the menu, things like that.  

I particularly like to go to "regular" places where the servers make less than minimum wage and get "average" tips.   Having worked in service/commission jobs my entire working life (college years and a few years in real estate when the boys were teenagers), I know the importance of being friendly and attentive if one hopes to get referrals, good tips, or just have a nice day.  Frankly, I think all sales/service folks should treat others as they would treat their family.  Can't go wrong doing that!

If the server is pleasant, does a great job, and actually brightens my day (rather than leaving me without ice water, waiting forever to bring the check), I go home and write a letter to the management of that restaurant, bragging on how great "Server's Name" was on "Date and Time", and that I am so happy with the service, I will be recommended all friends and family to that restaurant.  In Iowa when I was still in real estate actively, I would also state that I would be referring clients there as well.  This makes managers VERY happy, and will bring kudos to that server!

One week, I had sent a letter to a local restaurant (if I remember correctly, it was an IHop!  lol) including my business card at the time, and just a few days later, we dined there again.  As we walked in, several servers stopped and directly stared at us, with odd smiles.  I wasn't catching on too quickly, and we sat down to look at the menus.  A few moments later, the manager came over and thanked me profusely for sending the letter, that he never receives such feedback and it brightened everyone's day (recognizing me from my business card).  Our former server also came over and thanked me sincerely.  I think being a server can be a really thankless job, and if you have a pleasant experience, why not take the time to send a short note praising your experience?  Kudos will go to your server and trust me, it will brighten their day!

Key - I really do recommend you send a handwritten note!

I had no idea I would be remembered or get any recognition for doing so, but it just shows you how random acts of kindness DO matter and are appreciated.  From that day forward, we received EXCELLENT service every time we dined there, and that was great. 

Have a glorious day!

Vitamin D3 Levels and Chronic Pain

Today and article came out at WebMD talking about the role of Vitamin D3 and chronic pain.  It tells of a woman who went to 30 doctors before one thought to check her Vitamin D3 levels, which were barely perceptible.  After 6 months of aggressive Vitamin D prescription therapy, she was able to knock off every symptom on her 3 page list.  Other docs offered her anti-depressants, seizure medications (the seizure drugs - Lyrica, Neurontin, etc. -  calm down nerves and often help greatly with nerve pain.  I, however, could not tolerate any of them without horrible side effects.)  

I personally started taking extra Vitamin D3 when the "swine flu pandemic" was raging across the world last Fall, and I take 5000 iu per day.  If I feel sick or if someone is sick in my family, I take 10,000 iu for about 2 weeks.  I notice a HUGE difference if I skip even one day, and if I forget a few days in a row, then I am walking like a 100-year old grandma until I remember.  I am able to get the 5000 iu Vitamin D at Walmart (Around $5)  and health food stores ($11).  It is a small, golden gel-filled capsule, similar in looks to Vitamin E but much smaller.  Here is a very informative article on Vitamin D and dosaging:

Vitamin D3

Here is the article and if you know anyone with pain or certainly chronic pain, including folks with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and other "all over pain" syndromes, this is where I would start.  On another online board I frequent, a member is a physician and he states that when he is able to test his patients, he finds many are extremely Vitamin D deficient, and he starts out prescribing 50,000 iu for 6 months.

Here are 2 articles for information:

Chronic Pain: Does Vitamin D Help? 

Preventing Vitamin D Deficiency

And here is a study done at the Mayo Clinic that shows the less Vitamin D someone has, the more narcotic medication they need for their pain.

Mayo Clinic Researchers link Vitamin D and Chronic Pain Relief

P.S.  No one in our family EVER gets a flu vaccination and none of us got sick this year.  Studies show that folks who take Vitamin D3 are far healthier than those that do not.  With today's mineral and vitamin deficient diets and lack of outdoor activity, it is far more common to be deficient in Vitamin D than ever before.  Certainly check with your doctor before taking large doses.  Do not be afraid to ask for this blood test. Imagine if your aches and pains are the results of a deficiency in this vitamin and can be easily remedied?   A movement is underway to get the current government recommended dosages to be increased, so stay tuned updates with that.

Have a glorious day!

Dry Eyes - Update

It is so weird to me now, thinking I was getting the "middle age" eye sight issues, when in fact, I was suffering from Dry Eyes - click to learn more about this condition.  I had bought 3 pairs of "cheaters" glasses and had to use them if I wanted to read anything with small print.  I was noticing even that wasn't helping, but again, didn't think it was anything I could "fix".

It's been over a month now since my diagnosis, and here is my routine:

During the day, I use Genteal Gel Drops, 4 times a day.  These are available at any drugstore or places like W.almart.  I have another brand I keep in my purse, but can't remember now what that is.  It was on sale, so I am trying it.   In other words, I keep some eye drops with me at all times.

I am using the drops for moderate to severe dry eye for now.  And at night, I use Systane Nighttime Eye Lubricant Gel.  (Also available at drugstores and places like W.almart.)  My doctor stressed that it is imperative to use the lubricating GEL at bedtime.

This is an actual gel, and I use about a 1/4 inch right as I go to bed in each eye.  After putting it in, I cannot see, so it is nighty night time.  lol  I then put on my favorite eye mask of all time, this one from Target.  It has a cushy extra roll at the base, and I use this to hold my eyes shut.  My opthamoloist remains convinced I must be sleeping with my eyes slightly open, even though I NEVER sleep without my eye mask.  I must be really talented.  lol  If I weren't getting better, I would start taping my eyelids down, at her suggestion.  Can you imagine?

If you have ever slept with a mask but aren't in love with them, try this one - it is so comfy.  

Bathery Luxury Sleep Mask from Target

You can't tell from the photo, but on the underside towards the bottom, it has an extra cushy roll of foam that either sits on top of your nose, or in my case, I put it directly on top of my eyes.  The strap around the head is adjustable, and it is frankly the most comfortable sleep mask I have ever used. 

So, doing all this I was improving dramatically.  Until I started wearing eye liner again.  And it wasn't just any eyeliner, it just so happened to be the eyeliner I bought for the first time around the time all this started.   (A new brand by Loreal.)  UGH!   I'm allergic to so much else, why I never stopped and put two and two together.  Well.......just DUH!  In the end, I found ONE eyeliner I have that does not cause problems, so I threw the rest away so I wouldn't slip up and use any again.  The one that causes no problems is from Jane Iredale Cream to Powder EyeLiner.

This is not the shade I have - I use the Black/Brown Plus, and this is the Black Plus.  I've had this over a year, though, so I know THAT is not good.  I'll need to get more or find a cheaper one that works as well.  This is VERY creamy and goes on smoothly and lasts all day.   Andy treated me to a spa visit and I got a free makeup application during that.  We did purchase this product at that time.

With Dry Eyes, most people feel pain and the pain causes them to seek medical advice.  If I have eye pain, it doesn't register with my brain due to all the other pain I have 24/7, so I'm learning again and again I HAVE to be super aware and not ignore things!!!  I literally have multiple dry spots all over my corneas and that just isn't good, BUT I am happy to report I AM getting much better.  I can actually read things now without my cheater glasses, if I have to.  Yay!!

Moral of the story as we age:  Do not assume eye blurriness is that "old age" business.  It could be something like Dry Eyes, which is very treatable and dangerous to eyesight if it goes too far along.  At one point, after wearing some of the "bad" eyeliner all day, I could barely see at all.  My entire world was blurry and the glasses had no effect.  It was very scary that day and that is what led me to have an "Ah hah" moment and go wash my eyes thoroughly.  Within an hour, I could see so much better and that started my investigation into the eye makeup - liners, mascara and shadows.   I am also now going to be very careful about discarding eye makeup as recommended by professionals - usually after 6 months.   Losing my eye sight is NOT worth saving a buck here and there!   Learn from my mistakes! 

Have a glorious day and be thankful for good eyesight if you have it!

Happy Happy Day

When was the last time you looked at your spouse and just couldn't believe how lucky you are?  Today was another one of those days.  I tell you what, but something is going on here.  I just want to pinch myself most days.  How DID I get so lucky?

Today after an appointment, I was walking out the door when I looked up to see who was holding it - my husband!  He had totally surprised me having left work a tad bit early to greet me. What a surprise!  Holt was with me and just rolled his eyes.  Just what he wanted - kissing and hugging parents.  In PUBLIC!  Gasp! 

Just a moment ago, I was reading a new favorite blog and ran across this new series starting next week with Courtney at Women Living Well.  

Completing Him Challenge - Be the woman your man needs. June 7 - August 9, 2010.

This fits perfectly with my goals of late - truly striving to make my husband happier than he's ever been.  Or doing my best trying!

I got to thinking the other day, how was I doing in the area of being an encouraging wife?  Years ago, I remember a friend sharing that her husband told her he dreaded coming home each day.  

I took a mental inventory and imagined what it was like for my husband:  what state was the house in?  Was I frazzled and busy or happy to see him?  Did I regularly stop what I was doing to greet him with a kiss and hug?  If I were gone all day, how would I want to be greeted?

With so much to do in our daily lives, do we take time to make the arrival of our spouse something special each day?  Isn't it sad if the pets are happier to see our spouses than we are? 

And what about supporting him in his ideas/dreams/goals?  Could we do a better job?

I vowed to greet my husband with an encouraging word and retire at night with encouraging/complimentary words and many times in between.  At first I worried it would seem like "too much" or contrived, but let me tell you, his reaction was so striking.  His chest swelled, he walked a little taller, he smiled broader when he would see me......and why I ever thought it would be tough I have no idea!

I also watched my reactions when he shared ideas or thoughts and a doozy happened just this last weekend.  As I talked with him through the subject he brought up, I tread lightly, just praying that I was coming across in a positive way.  He sent me a text from work  Tuesday morning to share with me how much my chatting with him had not only meant to him, but helped clear his mind and put him at ease with the situation that had him stumped.  I was tickled to get that.  I guess this encouraging business can go two ways!!  

Anyhoo,  I decided to ask hubby how I was doing and to request he be as honest as possible.  (Ha!  What a slippery slope for most men, huh!  Do we really want a truthful answer?  lol)   I asked him to rate me on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being best - How was I doing in the "encouraging wife" department?  He looked at me incredulously with a sincere smile and gave me a '10'!     I was NOT expecting that answer!  Considering the turmoil we've had in our general life otherwise,  I really thought I was just doing "ok".  Rather than simply being informative, his answer really encouraged me.  And we had the biggest smiles the rest of the day.  This just made me even more motivated than before! 

Do you know what your husband would rate you in your abilities as an Encouraging Wife?  Would you be willing to ask?  Here's to doing all we can to make our husbands lives amazing, thanking them for all their hard work and dedication.  I cannot wait for this new series to start next week - I look forward to the blessings it will bring!

Have a glorious day!