Kelly at Kelly's Korner has a Show Us Your Life - 2010 Resolutions party going on!
Do you take your health for granted? I know I did. It would never happen to me, right? And if something ever did happen, I believed I could get treated and get better. And then I took an unplanned trip to the world of Intractable Pain, a world I had only barely heard of, but had no idea what that even meant, or what daily life was like for folks who suffer the kind of pain most people will never even feel for one minute. But for others, they live it 24 hours a day. And I was inducted quickly and unwittingly into this special group.
I admit I haven't worried about any resolutions since 2005, when my pain crisis hit. Each year has just been putting one foot in front of the other, just trying to survive. Quite honestly, worrying about my "regular" or "traditional" girl things just isn't at the top of my list. Surviving IS.
But now, with one year behind me with my SCS - Spinal Cord Stimulator - I DO have reason to expect I can get more of my life back, or at least much more than anyone thought possible. My back is finally stable (after the last of 3 surgeries within 12 months between 2005 and 2006) and the nerve damage.....while absolutely horrid......IS in a holding pattern. The SCS is a Godsend because it sends electrical signals in my spinal column and blocks/thwarts the pain signals from reaching my brain. I personally walk around feeling like I have a massage chair on the inside, with my hips to toes tingling just like those massage chairs. Amazing! The photo below is an example what I have implanted in my back. That pulse generator is in my upper right buttock/hip and I use a remote control to turn myself on or off, up or down. When the pain is really bad, like today, I have my self turned REALLY really high to where I can almost not feel my feet. But I have a choice to make - turn it up so I can do things today (and be super careful about walking) or just get in my chair and recline all day long. So I choose to turn that puppy up!
So........my resolutions for 2010 are to:
1.) Be More Authentic - Who I am, truly? I vow to take down the actress mask and be honest about how I am doing. I will continue to work on accepting my situation while continuing to hope for a cure, for a new device or procedure........something to stop this daily torment. Only when I can share the TRUTH about who and how I am, will I truly begin to heal, either physically, emotionally or spiritually.
2.) Drink at least 16 oz. of Green Smoothie at least 6 days a week. Currently I am drinking it every single day, sometimes as much as 32 oz. I really recommend others adopt this - great nutrition!! Here are some posts from last year - I've been enjoying the Green Smoothies since June, 2009.
3.) Read at least 1 book a week. I'm currently averaging 2 books a week, and I LOVE to read. I rediscovered my love of half-price books while down in Dallas, and I bet I purchased 18 or so books while we were gone? Sounds crazy, I know, but I've already read 3 of them! My favorite books involve health, marriage and family, enhancing our intuition, and embracing what we truly desire and watching it manifest.
4.) Continue to explore meditation and incorporate it into my life. I have run across so many inspiring stories and websites and I KNOW this will help me manifest less pain on a daily basis.
and finally....
5.) Stay on this amazing journey with Andy, my love, and seek each day to bless his life, in whatever small or big ways I find. Having a strong, deeply committed marriage brings such joy into my life, and is a blessing to our children. I heard a story on the radio the other day about a family reunion in which members got up to dance to a song "We Are Family". Looking around, however, it was noticed that only one family out of many were actually dancing. The caller then realized that her family was the only one in which the original parents were still married. One cousin walked up to her cousin and said, "You know, you are lucky that your parents loved YOU enough to stay together". That really impacted me and hasn't left my mind. I vow to continue giving this gift to my children.
Wishing you all a happy and healthy 2010!
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