Friday, January 21, 2011

How to Re-Frame

Huh?  Do what??  Re-frame.  Let me share something with you.

As women, we dwell.  I think it is in-born.  Dwell, dwell, dwell.  And not always positively.  

But guess what?

What we Focus on, EXPANDS.

Think about that for a minute.  It's true, isn't it?  

So we must CHOOSE what we focus on.  Well, that is easy to say, hard to do.  Especially on bad days, when everytyhing has gone wrong.  Or when we are moody, have had little sleep.  Why must WE change our thinking?

Because, we owe it to ourselves to do so.  Do you know who dwelling hurts?  US.  Not the person we are upset with.  No one else.  Just us.  Same with forgiveness - it is also for US, not the other person.  We must because we become LESS - less efficient, less happy, less functional - when we lock in on dwelling.  

Guess what? 

We do better when we KNOW better. 

How true is that?

So, how do we change what to focus on? Well, let me introduce you to the concept of 

Imagine a puzzle in your life with missing pieces.  All of a sudden, some new puzzle pieces come flying towards you through the air.....and then SLAM, those puzzle pieces fall in to place.  Now, you have a different perspective.  Right?  You needed that info years ago, but at least it came now.  Or sometimes we have to create a new puzzle piece, to move on.  To be able to move forward.

Sometimes we stumble on new information.  Sometimes, we gain new perspective with maturity and wisdom.  By watching other people.  But as women, we have things that hurt us - we have emotional pains........and if something happened in our childhood that then gets triggered in adulthood.........look out.  We don't even see that coming.  We are such good actresses, aren't we?  

Looking back, I can take an old memory, replace it with new information OR a new choice.  I can choose to believe whatever was done was not on purpose, for example.   And by doing so the emotional pain lessens.  The emotional pain, the hurt - eventually fades away. 

How I handle my nerve pain is very similar to how we can handle our emotional pain.

I choose what I dwell on.

I let go of my old dreams to embrace my new possibilities.

Distraction is my greatest weapon.

Do you have something you are holding on to?  Can you think of a way to re-frame it to be at peace? 


1 comment:

  1. Love this post! Have you ever read Lou Tice's Smart Talk? It is very similar...I totally LOVE that book!


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