My Misadventures Blocking My First Crochet Scarf

This was too funny not to share.  To set the scene, I've been fully reclined since we got back last Sunday from our long trip - 9 hours each way in a vehicle.  My recliner in the vehicle, to be exact - See HERE.   

Anyhoo....I've been hurting bad and haven't gotten out of my recliner but to eat and attend to hygiene.  And I should have stayed with that plan.

I finally finished my beautiful scarf and wanted to get it blocked.  I've never blocked anything.  That should have been  my first warning sign.  lol

I got the scarf all laid out on my ironing board.  I then showered and started getting ready for the day.

For some odd reason, I decided right THEN was a great time to go block the scarf.  Naked.  Hair dripping wet.  Makeup half on.  

I turned the iron on and noticed it didn't have water in it.  I needed water for the steam.  Steam to block the scarf.  

I go get water to pour in the iron.  (Remember, I can't bend over ever, so unplugging the iron and taking it to the bathroom isn't an option.)

I hold the bottle of water up to pour, I hold the iron handle in my right hand AND.............I put my left hand fingers on the HOT PART OF THE IRON.  Why?  I have no idea.  Just pure stupidity.

So, seconds later, I'm looking at immediately white fingers.  Strangely, the pain isn't what I thought it would be, but then again, I think I've mentioned I don't respond to pain appropriately. (As in, I can be almost dying and have a smile on my face.  Scary dangerous.)

I literally stand staring at my fingers as they turn more and more white.  I'm thinking, 

"What should I do?  This can't be good?"  

Does anyone else have a freeze response to stress?  I sure do.  One time when Ryan was an itty bitty baby, my van was hit from behind.  By the time I "came out" of my freeze response, my mom (a passenger that day) had checked on Ryan AND was out talking to the idiot who hit us.  lol 

Yet I stand staring.  For I'm not sure how long.

Then I think, "I know, I'll go look up on my computer what to do." 

I throw on my nighty and take my burned fingers and dripping wet hair out to the living room.  Information says to immediately run cold water over my fingers, for 20 minutes.  Has it already been 20 minutes?

I go to the sink and turn the water on.  OUCH!!!!!!!  This is the most pain I've had since the incident, so I stop that.  lol  

The info also mentioned Aloe.  I get aloe and spray my fingers and ask my 18 yr old to come tape my fingers with gauze.  That wasn't a great idea.  When he decides to get off his online game, he saunters in and stares at me.  No idea what to do.  

I could have done it myself by the time I got it explained and he understood.  

Hubs came home after work and was very concerned for infection, so took me to the Minor Med.  1.5 hours later, I was diagnosed with 2nd degree burns (ACK!) and given a script for burn cream.

Why do they always ask about previous surgeries?  By the time the nurse got done writing down all the meds I must take (lots of problems with nerve damage in various other areas....not just my legs and feet), she then had writers cramp after writing down all my surgeries.  It is almost faster to just write what organs I still have left.  lol 

Then she asked - "Do I drink or take drugs?"

I die laughing...........uh, that would be NO.  But I fear I am driving my poor husband to drink.  lol

OH, and as if that wasn't enough..........shortly after said 18 yr. old had  bandaged my hand.........I did block the scarf.  Yes, I did.  I was almost done when I had an urge to pee.  (And with all the nerve damage, I DON'T get urges to pee very often.  When I do, I must RUN......)

So I scurry to the toilet, pull my undergarments down (I'm no longer naked since the 18 yr. old had to help me, 'cause I'm a good mom like that....) and a huge PAIN goes down my lower thigh to my knee.  What the heck??  I look and I have a HUGE red scratch.  What kind of bandage did that kid put on me???  That scratch hurt more than the burn!  My body is just plain backwards (as has actually been proven during nerve studies.....I'm not wired "normally"........lol)

I look at my bandaged fingers and what do I see????   A PIN (see those big yellow pins up there in that scarf photo??) stuck in and the pointy end sticking out.  THAT is what just scratched the crud out of my leg.

I forgot about it and when hubs was helping me undress once we got home, he was alarmed at the big scratch.   "What happened to your leg, honey????!!!!!!!!!!!"

Folks, it just doesn't end.  This isn't even that uncommon in my house. 

Story of my life.  Hubs said, "Sugar Plum, can you just let ME handle these things next time?"

I was just trying to help.  I get to feeling guilty when I live reclined for days on end. 

P.S.  I'm pretty sure I don't have an singed skin on the scarf.  I hope, anyway.  :)