If the concept of forgiveness makes you cringe....if it is incomprehensible that people should be forgiven for their destructive and selfish behavior.....then you (like me previously) have much to gain by understanding what forgiveness really is.
First, we have to honor our feelings, not stuff them. They are real....the hurts were real.....BUT the power in forgiveness is that until we choose to forgive, THEY (they evil, the selfish, the destructive) continue to have power over us......and that should STOP!
I found this quote very helpful during my journey to forgiveness:
"First, we have to face the notion that in order to consider forgiving someone we must have been blaming them for something. We must have anger, resentment, blame, even hatred going on in order to feel the need to forgive. Forgiveness is really an act of letting go, releasing the anger, the hatred, the bitterness, the thoughts of revenge that we have been carrying around. We can do this letting go without even encountering the person we want to forgive. We forgive by releasing all resentment, anger, and bitterness and thus set ourselves free from the negative feelings that weaken us. First we have to get past blame. Then we have to learn to send love to all."
"Forgiveness is the most powerful thing that you can do for your physiology and your spirituality, and it remains one of the least attractive things to us, largely because our egos rule so unequivocally. To forgive is somehow associated with saying that it is all right, that we accept the evil deed. But this is not forgiveness. Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward and refuse to hang onto the venom or hatred that was engendered by the behaviors that caused the wounds. Forgiveness is a spiritual act of love for yourself and it sends a message to everyone, including yourself, that you are an object of love and that that is what you are going to impart."
- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, best-selling author, speaker and a true inspiration.